Passion isn’t found, it is created.
One of the toughest realizations for me was that very few people really care about me.Apart from a core group of people, everyone else will just react with a sad face on Facebook when something bad happens.
It’s a tough thing to come to terms with.
We’re so used to professors, teachers, and parents “taking us under their wing.” They take care of us. They tell us exactly what to do. All we have to do is listen to them, and we’ll be okay.
Then the real world happens. And it’s a complete 180.
No one tells you what to do when it comes to the important things in life.
Want to get in a good relationship? You’re on your own.
Want to find work you love doing? Figure it out by yourself.
Want to find a group of successful friends to surround yourself with? That’s all on you.
It’s especially true when it comes to our careers. When we feel stuck, we just sit and do nothing. We have fantasies of doing what we love, making a bunch of money, impacting people, but with no clear path to get there.
It’s almost like we’re waiting for someone to come along, take us under their wing, and make it all happen for us.
But obviously that doesn’t come true.
And before we know it, a decade goes by and we’re still in the same boring job, wasting our talents and feeling foolish.
Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen to you.
Here’s some practical advice on finding your passion.
“Closing doors” is not a bad thing
“The best life choices are the ones that reduce optionality.”
Many of us are afraid to even begin looking for our ideal job because we’re so scared of closing doors. No one wants to feel like they’re limiting themselves too much.
But this is unrealistic.
Closing doors actually makes you more likely to land opportunities that you’re focused on.
So the more specific you get about what you do, the more you come off as someone who understands their specific situation and can solve their specific problems.
Closing doors might limit you to a smaller pie, but you get to dominate a much bigger piece of it.
You’ll never be short of opportunities.
Get uncomfortably specific about what you want
There are millions of businesses in this world hiring tens of millions of people almost all the time.
And with the internet, it’s never been easier to connect with them all.
Even if you get ridiculously specific about what you want to do, you will still have millions of opportunities available.
The more specific you get, the more you’ll seem like a “tailored fit” for every single job you apply to.
You’ll be the obvious choice among everyone else trying to “keep their options open.”
The answers are not inside of you
Some of us think that if we just do enough “soul searching”, if we just think hard enough, then everything will become clear.
Then we’ll know exactly what our “calling” is, right? Won’t we then be able to figure out our exact passions, and finally “get it together”?
No. That’s not how it works.
In Silicon Valley, what happens to companies that lock themselves in a building, build out an idea that they thought was brilliant without talking to customers, and then release it to the market?
They go bankrupt.
You can’t magically come up with the perfect answers without talking to the market.
That means you need to talk to your market — in the job search process, that means your employers, and people working in the jobs that you’re interested in.
Talk to them. Ask them questions. What do they do day to day? Are they happy about it? What do they wish they could be doing? What do they want to do in 2 years? How about 5 years? How much impact, recognition, and independence do they get?
That’s the best way to get a “glimpse” into your future, without spending years going down the wrong path.
Get good at something first, and then your passion will follow
There is no special passion waiting for you to discover.
Passion is something that is cultivated. It can be cultivated in many, many different fields. Therefore, it doesn’t make sense to say, ‘I don’t know what my passion is.’
What does make sense is to say, ‘I haven’t yet cultivated a passion, I should really focus down on a small number of things and start this process.’
The notion of “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” is absurd.
Work sucks sometimes. And that’s okay.
In the beginning, all you need is to find your work somewhat interesting most of the time. That’s good enough.
Then, get better at it. Make some impact. Get some results. Make people happy.
As you start to get good at what you do and actually see the results you’re bringing in, you’ll enjoy it more.
And slowly, your passion will start to reveal itself.
Passion isn’t found, it is created.
It is created by putting in the work.
Because when you put in the work, people will start to notice.
And when people start to notice it’s like watering a small plant.
And the more work you put in, the more people will start to notice. And the stronger that plant will grow.
And the stronger and more beautiful that plant, the more you’ll grow to love it. And appreciate it. The more passionate you’ll be about it.
But because we don’t want to put in the work it takes to water that plant we wait for our passion to magically show up.
It’s a lot more convenient. It’s a lot more convenient to just sit in front of that TV and wait for that passion to magically show up.
But it never will…
Nobody finds their purpose. You have to go out and actively create it.
Stop Trying To Figure It Out
The 20s syndrome is everywhere. Most 20–29 year olds (and many even after that) spend all their time worrying or wondering who they’re going to be. Who they should be. Who they’re going to become. Meanwhile, they miss moment after moment to practice skills and learn what they need to learn in order to become that “future self” right now, today.
